As many of you know, my name is Lem, as I used to say I am the owner & creator of all things Disco Lemonade. When people asked "what's the story behind Disco Lemonade?" I would respond oh yeah it's from the song Sex & Candy. I resonated with the woman he sang about, someone that walked in a room & all eyes were on her. Embodying an absolute icon.
The name stuck as my brand grew bigger & I even developed the nickname "Disco Lem!" Cute! I loved it. I was IN IT. To say the least, Disco Lemonade became my life & truly me entire being. I felt it was everything to me. It was everything I ever wanted: for my designs to be worn by beautiful humans; my art to be shared, loved & appreciated; to connect & create for & with fellow artists I admired. It felt like an absolute dream. I was living my best life as some may say.
But with that being said, with my so called "dream life" I was deeply overwhelmed. Constantly working. It was non-stop. My desire to get bigger, to sell more, to do as much as I possibly could became an addiciton. I was up every night sewing until 4am. I was obsessed with making something new, something better, something more beautiful, something my followers would love & go on my website at drop time to hopefully snag over all the other girlies trying to snag it too. It was a high that I was constantly chasing.
I believe all the stress began to manifest in other ways. I felt appreciated by so many, but I also felt so hurt & not seen whenever I heard anything bad. Any critiques, made up stories, gossip, hurtful words....all of these things began to stand out. I am a Pisces Moon, a sensitive being. I was always really good at making it seem like I was okay. Like none of this phased me. But anyone close to me, knows how deeply I was hurting. How the art that fueled me also was destroying me. Because I identified so closely with my brand "Disco Lemonade" any negative comments made about my art felt like an attack on me. My identity as a human being was completely lost. My cortisol levels through the roof.
My goal was always to make those wearing my work feel their absolute best. I channeled all my creative energy into this. I channeled all of my light into my art. How can something that used to feel so good, hurt me so bad. These negative thoughts manifested into a lawsuit. A lawsuit that I felt I had no choice to partake in it. Hind sight being 20/20, I know this is not true, but I know my journey was to experience this. To experience the heartbreak, the ups & downs of being in a lawsuit and letting go of something that I considered my "baby." I created my business from scratch, all by myself in my childhood bedroom in my parents house at 25 years old. I truly spent my entire my paycheck I made as a hostess on new fabrics & dedicated every free moment I had to sewing & learning & bringing my visions to life. It felt like my whole being. I had invested quite literally everything into it & for some reason to me that felt like the name "Disco Lemonade." That's what everyone knew me as, that is how I became popular I felt. But that is where i was drastically wrong. The lack of separation between my art & myself almost ruined me. It was when I decided I no longer cared about being "Disco Lemonade" everything to started to fall into place.
The settlement of the lawsuit, I received everything I wanted. The second I let it all go, I was rewarded. I got my trademark for the name Disco Lemonade, I got a very not nice woman to leave me alone FINALLY. The slander & bullying finally stopped. The crying stopped. The constantly worrying if my social media accounts were going to be disabled tomorrow was finally over. But at that point, I just didn't care about the name "Disco Lemonade" anymore. If this the energy of "Disco Lemonade" I will kindly pass. Perhaps the name means nothing. Perhaps it's who I am becoming that means something. Perhaps it's my art that people love & no matter what name I have, they will always follow & always support me.